Some humiliations never die. When I was 13 years old, I made an utter tit of myself over a girl. Actually, I did that about a dozen times over the course of my teenage years. But one, in particular, was particularly cringeworthy ((as an aside, I’m thinking that one of these days I should write […]
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Thoughts on computer games
On more than one occasion, I’ve found myself struggling to proceed past a certain point in a computer game. The situation arises where a particularly intricate puzzle or sequence of jumps exists, with no save point to break things up. Take my present example: I’m playing Tomb Raider Anniversary at the moment, and I am […]
Too Little Radio I got into Student Radio in the third year, and in retrospect I wish that I hadn’t left it so late. When I arrived at the University and was considering what societies to join, the radio station did cross my mind, but I decided against it for two reasons: firstly, I didn’t […]
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MIKA: Life In Cartoon Motion
For the last fortnight, my life has been consumed by this album. I can’t get it out of my head, so I’m going to review it in depth, as an attempt at therapy. Perhaps by recording my thoughts, my brain will not be so reluctant to keep a tight grip on them, and I may […]
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Taes of the evening
1. On the tube, it seems that a couple of Indian guys to my left were in an argumetn with the guy across fromme, because he had been winking at them and they didn’t like it? I caught his eye, and gave him a wink. He turned to the Indians and made a noiser, which […]
I received a letter from my bank yesterday. They send me lots of letters, often containing leaflets with changes to my terms and conditions. These leaflets are too dull to read, which I am sure is intentional. By now, I wouldn’t be surprised if my bank have a legal claim to my left testicle under […]
Following a period of suspicious lateness of period, Karen pissed on a piece of paper yesterday and it all worked out beautifully. I, meanwhile, am unable to really enjoy the event to its fullest as half of my face is dying. I went to the doctor today and he has diagnosed me with Bell’s Palsy […]
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Gymgoing
I’ll pop down to the gym, To do my exercise, I aim to help my biceps, Achieve a larger size. But a man upon the chest press, Warrants more inspection, He isn’t doing exercise, But reading the Arts section! Piss off, you utter tit, Your behaviour is obscene, Can’t you read the notices? Rest away […]
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Drying Is Fun
**Drying Is Fun** ISDN 6-666-666666666-6666666666666666666 This book, by popular childrens’ author Spudchop Tagliatelle, is a must-have for parents of children suffering from post-shower-towelphobia. Witty and beautifully illustrated by popular childrens’ illustrator Robert Crowsfeet, it adopts a patronising tone that the children will mistake for sincerity, yet the parents will recognise as sharp piss-taking out of […]
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Attack by a large cotton reel
Driving up (pay careful attention to the upness) the hill into work on Friday, I rounded a corner to see a van driving along in front of me with one of its back doors open. One of those big cotton reels of cable (about two or three feet across) had fallen out of the back […]