Peril Politics

Clearing Something Up

Let’s start with a hypothetical person, called George. George is hypothetical. George says “[Waterboarding][] is not torture.”


George is entitled to his opinion, but he’s wrong.

Let’s create a hypothetical situation for our hypothetical George to be in. Let’s say that George, through some ugly string of coincidences, finds himself captured by some very bad people, *”strapped to a board and tipped back or lowered into a body of water until he believed that drowning was imminent”* ((quote taken from the Wikipedia article linked above. Not that Wikipedia is necessarily the authority on such things, but I don’t think that anyone can argue with that definition.))

When George is eventually released, what do you think that his opinion on waterboarding will be now? Will he still think that it is not torture?

That was a hypothetical question, but feel free to answer it anyway. Comments validate me.


The Obligatory War Post

(punctuated by pictures of a pretty lady, to make it more manageable)

I was wondering the other night what my contribution to the war effort is going to be.

I don’t think I’m going to be the shouting general in the room with the guys with headsets. That’s a thankless job really, and I don’t think I could see me in a moustache. And besides, they all suffer from hormone imbalances and want to nuke everything, until the geeky bespectacled scientist in the white coat suggests a far more constructive and pacifistic course of action. And then the general has to eat humble pie. And I prefer chicken.

I don’t want to be the cannon fodder on the front line either. I’m useless with a bayonet, and I’ve never liked the look of dismembered corpses. That said, one of my ambitions before I die is to have sex with a prostitute, so I imagine that there will be plenty of opportunity for that out abroad. Long time, five dollar?

I don’t think I could be a spy either. I think I’d just fall over too often. And I haven’t got the right sort of verbal delivery either. When the bad guy is interrogating me, I think I would be less likely to say “Do you exchpect me to talk, Goldfinger?” and more likely to say “Wanker.” Mind you, the women would be throwing yourself (whoops, I meant, themselves) at my feet. It’s not the same if you aren’t paying for it though.

Working in intelligence probably wouldn’t be wise either. I don’t really have the anticipative mentality when it comes to foreigners. The less said about this, the better.

I could do a George Bailey, and stay at home and organise rubber drives and such like. Be a bit of a local hero, just do odd jobs around the community and be a good guy. However, that would require me to take some sort of initiative, which would probably mean that I would lose my job, as that kind of thing is not allowed around here.

I think I’ll be a pilot. I’ll be like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, and I’ll get to utter the immortal line: “He’s too close for missiles – I’m switching to guns.”

Nothing would give me greater joy.

Apart from not having to go to war, of course.