Month: September 2005

The layer of green goo is now about an inch thick, forming a luxurious yet moist carpet. I had to park my car over in that corner yesterday morning. I opened the door and put my fut out, and noticed that the goo had sensed my presence and was collecting itself up into a claw shape. I withdrew my foot and quickly pulled the car door shut, to the slapping sound of the goo-claw impacting on the door. The goo barked in its foiledness.

I climbed over the gear stick to the passenger’s seat and got out on that side, where it was clear. The goo lurked and growled quietly.

Apparently the military have been notified of this threat, but it seems that they are just as terrified of it as we are. One of my co-workers went out at lunchtime and threw some bars of soap at it, but that just seemed to make it more angry.

*Originally posted here*

So it seems that over in the corner of the car park there is an event occurring. To my unprofessional eye, I’d guess that some sort of water pipe under the expansive flower bed has burst, as a steady trickle is coming over the kerb and forming an immense puddle on the tarmac.

And it also seems that no-one knows quite who this should be reported to, as it’s been there a while now. A green algae is forming on the surface of this puddle, and no-one dares park in that corner anymore.

I’m sure that eventually it will rise up and murder us all.

Meh.

*Originally posted here*

I had an awful time of it this morning. Karen called me over to her computer to show me her latest blog post. As I sat down and started to read, I saw that it was quite long. I was a little occupied at the time, so I asked her if I could have a brief summary, but she was insistent that I read it all, there and then. At this point things went a bit strange.

I was suddenly aware that there were two girls sat next to me, and both of them were Karen. How odd, I thought, must be seeing double, so I moved my head a bit closer to her, and blinked and refocused and generally tried to straighten my eyes out. Both Karens disappeared, and didn’t come back.

At this point I panicked a bit, naturally. I stood up and called her name. I then started running round the house, alternating between calling “Karen!” and “I’m hallucinating!”

I eventually bumped into her coming out of the bathroom. Her face looked strange, kinda like she had a face mask on, but weirder than that. It was as if two separate and distinct faces were resolving themself together – clearly I was still hallucinating.

At the point at which she threw her arms around me, reality regained complete control, and I was sitting bolt upright in bed. Karen was holding me, sobbing uncontrollably. I looked around the bedroom, and established that everything looked right. My pulse rate started to return to normal. “It’s okay,” I told her, “it’s better now. We’re okay.”

Then I woke up. I was lying on my back in bed, Karen asleep next to me. She made a small whimper – had I been talking in my sleep? My brain ricocheted around in my head from the two successive impacts of reality, only two seconds apart. “Wow.” I whispered breathlessly.

Immediately the CD player whirred into life. It was 7:30.

*Originally posted here*