Critters Top Photos



I like photographing bees.


Dailies for Friday 30 May 2008


Moleskine Unboxing

Moleskine Unboxing 01

The manilla jiffy bag! Gasp! It’s so fucking exciting!


Bernard:English Dictionary

While on holiday last week, I had the idea of composing a Bernard-to-English dictionary. With these useful hints, you too might be able to hold a conversation with him.

Bernard English
ack-tutta helicopter
bapple apple (and, indeed, most other fruit)
bappy happy
bigduddle big cuddle
bobot robot
boobar rhubarb
buttflyer butterfly
buch (with a German-sounding ‘ch’) bus
ceeeeereal cereal
dack-doo cock-a-doodle-doo
jamb jam/chutney
man-boat canoe
man-song The Grand Old Duke Of York (song)
oh-day okay
puh-puh puzzle/jigsaw
sish (with a soft ‘s’) fish
tick-tock peacock
tractor? play tractor? play train? man? bike? play train? play man tractor? I would like to play some GTA San Andreas now please.

I mowed the lawn and the lawn lost

*Google says that I’m not the first person to use this “I fought the lawn…” pun in a blog post title. Ah well, you win some, you lose some.*

Back in March, we had a lawn installed. As the grass gradually got longer and longer, we realised that we could not delay the purchase of a lawn mower any further.

It’s not a very large area, so I didn’t want to go spending huge amounts of money on a lawnmower. But, conversely, I also had requirements. I wanted something that would collect the grass shavings for me, and I also wanted to avoid the Flymo brand, as they are basically all cheap, shoddy, flimsy pieces of orange plastic tat.

Stood in my local Focus, I contemplated the options. On my left, I had a Bosch electric rotary mower that met my requirements, costed about £60, and would take up a significant amount of space in the garage, when the garage is full enough already.

Qualcast Panther 30

Qualcast Panther 30

To my right, I had the Qualcast Panther 30 for about £40 ((you can currently get it from Argos for just £30)).

I ummed and ahhed for a long time, while Karen ran around the store chasing a toddler who had a surplus of energy. I had mental images of blazing hot afternoons, sweat pouring down my body, red in the face, grunting and heaving and screaming “fucking piece of shit lawnmower!”

But then I suppressed my preconceptions and thought about it rationally. I thought about my hodddd and how much simpler and easier it is to sweep the carpet using the hodddd than the vacuum cleaner. I thought about dynamo-powered bicycle lights, and how modern ones are far less intrusive than their old-fashioned counterparts. I thought about how much easier the hand-powered lawn mower would be to store and transport. The reduced risk of accidents. The additional exercise. The lower purchase price. Bernard screamed past at a few hundred miles per hour, with Karen in hot pursuit. She suggested that if I wanted to make a decision any time soon, that was okay with her.

A few hours later I was in the back garden, sweat pouring down my body, red in the face, grunting and heaving. But I wasn’t screaming “fucking piece of shit lawnmower”. Because I knew that it wasn’t the lawnmower’s fault. It was the fact that this lawnmower is totally unsuitable for cutting long grass, and this came as no surprise.

Once the grass is down to a reasonable length, this thing actually whizzes over the lawn with impressive speed and agility. I’m the kind of guy who is willing to go out and mow the lawn once a week, and so I have a good feeling about this. Stay tuned.

Holiday Photos

A series of photos from my holiday in Devon


When we arrived on Friday, it was cold and wet and miserable. The rain had brought all the snails out onto the path, and I managed to accidentally kill a few million of them in the dark. We went out onto the beach in our coats.

Critters Top Photos

Bernard and a snail

Bernard and a snail

On Saturday, Bernard and I were in the garden. I taught him lots of useful things about snails.

Parenting Photos

Block Tower


They don’t tend to last for very long…



Dailies for Wednesday 14 May 2008

  • “Microsoft got smart in Vista and changed the behavior when you hit F2 to rename a file, selecting only the name of the file and leaving the extension alone.” They didn’t get smart, exactly – they adopted an excellent feature from Linux.
Food Photos


The other weekend, we were invited to lunch with Tom and Rach. They cooked us pie and a meringue. Both were delicious, and the meringue was particularly photogenic.

meringue - before

meringue - after

This is not the first time that Tom has made me a pie, and I’m looking forward to the next one already.

We also found a happy potato, which Rach could not bear to flay.

happy potato