Categories
Meander

How many roads must a man drive down?

Today, everywhere you look is evidence of yesterday’s storm. As I drive to work, I pass men in high-visibility jackets feeding huge chunks of wood into chipping machines. I drive through the centres of magnificent trees, a matching stump on either side of the road. Just back from the edge of the road, I see […]

Categories
Fiction

Woohoo! NaNoWriMo!

“Great,” thought the lonely mug tree, “just when I thought I’d got the measure of this kitchen, they go and mess it all up again.” He paused. “Fuck,” he added, to make sure that anyone reading his thoughts would garner the impression that he was mature enough to know how to swear, but not hoity […]

Categories
Parenting

Four weeks old

Yesterday I found myself casting my mind back to the first nappy change that I performed alone, and I pondered upon how much has changed since then. In the first few days, I handled Bernard with such a degree of cautiousness that it must have been frustrating for him. That first nappy change was such […]

Categories
Parenting

On The Brink

It is now 8 days until the baby’s projected due date. In reality, this means that the baby could arrive any time in the next two weeks or so. Maybe I’ll hear a funny buzzing noise while sat at my desk. I’ll quickly figure out that it’s my phone vibrating (I’m clever like that, you […]

Categories
Gardening

England vs Somebody: Liveblogged!

*Updates will appear at the top.* **1:48:** Update completed! A few small checks, and then I’m off to the pub for a celebratory pint. Thanks for joining me for my liveblogging of… something dreadfully exciting. Whatever it was. **1:29:** The update continues to trundle along at a leisurely pace. The new Ubuntu theme has been […]

Categories
Music Music reviews

More Recent Listening

It’s been a few months (about three of them, I think), so here’s some stuff that I’ve been listening to lately. **Takk** by *Sigur Rós* This is a superb listening experience. The first half of the album is fluid and seamless. I don’t want to use the word repetitive, because of the negative connotations, so […]

Categories
Displeasure

As you’ll see, we’ve made quite a few changes

I received a letter from my bank yesterday. They send me lots of letters, often containing leaflets with changes to my terms and conditions. These leaflets are too dull to read, which I am sure is intentional. By now, I wouldn’t be surprised if my bank have a legal claim to my left testicle under […]

Categories
Dear Donkey

Dear Donkey – Foiled!

>Dear Donkey, > Remember how the girl behind the counter in Specsavers flirted with me? Well, I was really looking forward to returning there, so that she could flirt with me a little more. What happens? Well, my girlfriend goes and picks up my contact lenses for me, that’s what! > I need your help, […]

Categories
Parenting

Signs

Here’s another indicator of impending fatherhood: my opinion on the word “fuck” has changed considerably recently, even over a very short period of time. My attitude towards it used to be that it was a heavily trafficked word, generally used gratuitously beyond the point of diminishing returns, but if used at the right time it […]

Categories
Food IAMOWIM Peril Photos

Opal Fruit… or Terrorist?

I unwrapped the green Opal Fruit and tossed it lightly into my mouth, assuming that this would be an Opal Fruit like any other Opal Fruit. In my complacency, I allowed my attention to wander to other tasks. This turned out to be my greatest of errors, for the Opal Fruit moved around in my […]