*Updates will appear at the top.*
**1:48:** Update completed! A few small checks, and then I’m off to the pub for a celebratory pint.
Thanks for joining me for my liveblogging of… something dreadfully exciting. Whatever it was.
**1:29:** The update continues to trundle along at a leisurely pace. The new Ubuntu theme has been installed, so I’m now seeing the new-style window borders and icons, and they are quite pretty.
The battery on this laptop is starting to run low, and I’m reluctant to distract my Ubuntu machine while it is busy, so I may disappear for a while. Perhaps I’ll hunt down the AC adapter for this little fella, or perhaps I’ll go out into the garden and enjoy the sun.
**1:21:** I’ve been positively bukkaked in semaphore for the last 34 minutes. People have been asking when I’m going to post some photos of the neighbour’s cat unfolding paper aeroplanes. Well, I’m sorry to say this, but the paper cut that the cat received was a lot more serious than we initially thought, and the poor pussycat has bled completely dry.
There will be a funeral service on Monday.
Does anyone know of a good cat blood removal service?
**1:14:** After eating a bag of crisps, my hands were greasy. I washed them before touching the keyboard again.
**1:06:** The upgrade continues to pose challenges, none of which are insurmountable. Hence why I’ve been quiet for over quarter of an hour.
And I’m hungry, so I’m going to go and raid the kitchen.
**0:47:** Update package planetpenguin-racer? Why the heck have I got *that* installed???
Been swamped with paper aeroplanes in the last 14 minutes. I’ve got the neighbour’s cat busy unfolding them and passing them to me. Most of them seem to say “Pete, you rock!” or some variant thereof.
Now I must briefly away and attend to the cat. It has a paper cut on its paw and is mewing pitifully.
**0:44:** We’re making progress with the upgrade. We had some problems on xserver-xorg-driver-via but we’re back in play. It’s entirely my fault – I’m using a custom version of this driver to allow me to play videos fullscreen using hardware acceleration. With a bit of luck, the Dapper Drake version of this driver will have this ability and I won’t need to use a custom one any more.
**0:33:** I’ve been inundated with pigeons in the last 18 minutes, including one from a delightful young lady called Victoria. She says:
> u r stupid i giv a fuck about metarsals and david beckham he is lovely and the fater of my children so stfu u dont know what u r talking about ok?
Anyone know of a good guano-removal service?
Download complete. Installing new packages now. As always, it’s not as straightforward as the guides would have you to believe.
**0:31:** So I discovered this little clock on the floor. It had been blown off of the windowsill by a breeze, and looked pretty bad for wear. I popped the battery back in, screwed the backplate back on, and it was as good as new.
The incident happened at about 1:30. You ask how I can tell? Well, that will just have to remain my secret.
**0:27:** The downloading is virtually complete – just seconds to go. When this upgrade is done, I think I might pop down to the pub for a quiet beer to celebrate.
**0:20:** An emergency services vehicle drives past the window with its siren blaring. I don’t know which emergency service, as I have the curtains closed to keep me cool.
**0:15:** so much can happen in just 12 minutes! I’ve been bombarded with faxes since my last update, by irate football supporters objecting to my use of the word “nonsense”.
I apologise, from the depths of my trachea. I should clarify that I have no objection to football, or to the England team themselves. In fact, I can even deal with the immense hype, the overwhelming marketing of products that bear little relevance to football, and the way that the pub chains force lager down the throats of young men. But what I can’t stand is the way that it turns previously sane people into obsessives who suddenly give a fuck about metatarsals and David Beckham’s existence.
Also since my last update, I have been out into the garden and “done the edges” with the strimmer. The extension lead has been put away and the shed locked.
The upgrade only has about 10 minutes of downloading left to do. And it’s now **0:18** (that’s 18 minutes past some arbitrary time which I am using as a frame of reference).
I’m basing all these times on my computer clock, by the way. It automatically synchronises with an atomic clock somewhere (ntp2.ja.net, in fact) so I think it can be trusted.
**0:03:** I just heard an enormous cheer. This can only mean one thing – we’ve been disqualified from the World Cup forever, and there will be no more of this nonsense.
Must go and get that extension lead. I’ve been allowing myself to be distracted.
**2 minutes to go:** I’ve had literally hundreds of emails. Apparently my source was incorrect, and England’s opponents today will actually be Paraguay. No word on if they are pirates or not.
I’ve done a bit of filing, because I’ve been allowing myself to get behind. You know the sort of thing, phone bills, credit card bills, receipts, &c.
My upgrade is showing about 25 minutes of downloading time remaining. There will then be a period of installation. The whole process could take another 90 minutes, give or take. Maybe less.
**7 minutes to go:** A reader has phoned in to say that England are going to be playing a football match against a Parrot guy. The line was a bit furry, but I think that’s what he said.
Sounds a bit unfair to me. 11 footballers against one guy. Though, if he has a parrot, it’s likely that he is a pirate, in which case I don’t see the footballers standing much of a chance.
**12 minutes to go:** I’ve mowed the lawn and cleared a particularly dust-filled gutter. I’m upgrading from Breezy Badger to Dapper Drake, and it seems that there are about 40 minutes to go until all the new packages are downloaded. I’ve got a cold glass of water. The streets are quite quiet, particularly devoid of pedestrians. The neighbour brought in the laundry not many minutes ago. It’s ferociously hot.
I understand that a football match is going to take place soon. I’ve left the extension lead uncoiled in the garden – I should bring that in, just in case one of our neighbours have kleptomaniac tendencies.