Fuck Flickr. I’m fed up with having my photos held hostage.
While weeding the garden, I discovered a nest of snails. I violated their lair to use them for my own amusement.
I lured this guy out with a leaf.
I had to clean the table afterwards.
I tried to mate these two. They seemed interested in eachother, but no hardcore ensued.
Owls also have very good night vision. Scientists would say that this is because their eyes are very large in proportion to the size of their heads, but I believe it’s that they are munching on lots of carrots on the quiet.
In fact, according to the 1998 Junior Illustrated Encyclopedia Of Lies, owls eat twelve times their own bodyweight of carrots EVERY SINGLE MINUTE! How incredible is that? For the purposes of demonstration, below is Beck the Owl pictured next to twelve times his own bodyweight of carrots.
If you listen to scientists, you’d be forgiven for thinking that carrots are high in beta-carotene, which is converted into vitamin A by the body, and this is why it is good for your night vision. This is clearly refuted in the 1998 Junior Illustrated Encyclopedia Of Lies, which points out that the truth of the matter is that its all to do with THE SHAPE OF THE VEGETABLE!
So here’s a handy cut-out-and-discard guide to improving your night vision through means of ingestion.
BREAKFAST
Two hundred bowls of carrot soup
LUNCH
Eight hundred bananas
SNACK
One cucumber
EVENING MEAL
Fifty eight sweet pointed peppers, stuffed with feta cheese and olives
MIDNIGHT SNACK
Garlic baguette
HTH!
I was stood in the back garden with my woman nestled deep into my chest. The sun was setting, and glistening off of her hair in a beautiful fashion. I had to fetch the camera.
Central Park South, taken from the Time Warner building. I had completely lost my bearings at this point, and believed that I was looking down Central Park West from 110th Street. “Wow, it looks really short from this angle” I said. Idiot.
A view of the financial district from the Brooklyn Bridge.
This is what the Empire State Building looks like from below.
This photo was taken from Bryant Park, on 42nd Street and 6th Avenue. In the foreground is the New York Public Library.
Don’t look at this photograph directly.
The Chrysler Building. I don’t recall the sky being this startlingly blue at the time.
Ah, observe the fine grain of the wood.
Hey, we thought, wouldn’t it be cool if we peeled the labels off of the Boots Basics shampoo and conditioner and wrote “SHAMPOO” and “CONDITIONER” on them by hand? Then people wouldn’t know that we had bought really cheap shampoo and conditioner, and next time we are in the shop, and we come to our senses, and buy not-so-cheap products, we can refill these bottles, and they will look ace?
And then, I added, we should do the same to the spare bottles of shower gel, but to deter people from using them (because they are supposed to be the spares, you see) we could write “ACID” and “NAPALM” on them instead.
Viola ((for the benefit of the kind of people who find winky smileys useful to figure out if I am trying to be funny or not, this was an intentional (and hilarious) mis-spelling.)).
Some people fiddle with their phone when they are in a pub, and their friend has gone to the bar or toilets. I like to whip my camera out and take photos instead.
