How to be an owl: Part Four

Owls also have very good night vision. Scientists would say that this is because their eyes are very large in proportion to the size of their heads, but I believe it’s that they are munching on lots of carrots on the quiet.

In fact, according to the 1998 Junior Illustrated Encyclopedia Of Lies, owls eat twelve times their own bodyweight of carrots EVERY SINGLE MINUTE! How incredible is that? For the purposes of demonstration, below is Beck the Owl pictured next to twelve times his own bodyweight of carrots.

The eyesight of an owl

If you listen to scientists, you’d be forgiven for thinking that carrots are high in beta-carotene, which is converted into vitamin A by the body, and this is why it is good for your night vision. This is clearly refuted in the 1998 Junior Illustrated Encyclopedia Of Lies, which points out that the truth of the matter is that its all to do with THE SHAPE OF THE VEGETABLE!

So here’s a handy cut-out-and-discard guide to improving your night vision through means of ingestion.


Two hundred bowls of carrot soup


Eight hundred bananas


One cucumber


Fifty eight sweet pointed peppers, stuffed with feta cheese and olives


Garlic baguette


*Originally posted here*

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