> Dear Donkey,
> The girl behind the counter in Specsavers flirted with me. She was quite cute, and wearing a low-cut top.
> This isn’t a question. I just wanted to gloat. Hah.
Were my mailbag a little less empty, I’d discard this missive in a trice. In case you’d forgotten, I am incredibly studly, and am approached by foxy young things with sultry come-to-bed eyes on a daily, nay, HOURLY basis. Maybe one of these days I’ll take you out and you can observe the master at work.
Given that you haven’t asked a question, I’m free to offer you whatever advice I choose, without being constrained by being forced to make it pertinent to your request. As a result, I offer you this nugget: get a haircut you idiot.
Anyone else out there who has got problems as big as this fool?