A while ago, Karen and I had a fantastic idea. Bernard used to enjoy playing with our wallets, so we gave him one of my old ones. We filled it with old train tickets etc to give it that authentic walletness.

Last week, we had ordered a curry and Karen was upstairs hushing Bernard back to sleep. I was tidying up the sitting room, and saw Bernard’s wallet and toy mobile phone on the coffee table. I tossed them into his toybox and thought nothing more of it.

When the curry arrived, Karen got into a bit of a panic when she couldn’t find her wallet. I didn’t have enough cash in mine to pay the guy at the door. After a while, he got tired of waiting while we turned the place upside down, so he told us that he’d leave us to it, and phone us later on to get our credit card number.

Mere seconds after he’d driven off, it all clicked into place in my head. I lifted Bernard’s wallet out of his toybox and put it back on the coffee table.

Happy 5th anniversary, Karen. Looking forward to the next 50.