Displeasure In The News

Relaxing road laws could create 1,650,000 jobs

Experts will today present a proposal to the Government that road laws should be relaxed in the interests of increasing employment and stimulating the economy.

Professor Bob Falconfucker bellowed “My colleagues and I have spent the last three months running simulations in The Raccoon And Firebucket, and our findings have been quite surprising. We found that if we relaxed various aspects of our current road laws, such as increasing the legal alcohol limit from 80mg/100ml to 8000mg/100ml, and increasing the maximum speed in built-up areas from 30mph to 250mph, then this would create millions of new jobs in the fields of automobile repair and manufacture, morticianary, bereavement counselling, tarmac-mopping, motorcycle helmet manufacture and wall reinforcement. We’d also be able to get rid of those pesky speed cameras once and for all, and the police could spend more time going after real criminals, amIright?”

Prof. Falconfucker would have said more, but at that point an envoy from ITPOSTIA ((the *Institute for the Thumping of People who are apparently Oblivious to how Stupid Their Ideas Are*)) arrived and the interview was unfortunately cut short.