This Is The Goo I've Got

Usually the number of interesting things that happens during my 4 mile commute is some non-negative integer n where n = n mod 2. But today, three interesting things happened! Well, not that interesting, but there were three of them!

1. There’s a decomposing animal which I have been monitoring since Friday. On Friday it was still vaguely recognisable as an animal, albeit a dead one with a gaping hole in its chest, exposing its ribs. It has gradually withered to a disgusting clump of fur and bones and flies. This evening, there was a man stood over it, looking at it with intense interest. He appeared to be poking at it with his shoe. I gave him a wide berth, because he was clearly a bit crazy.

2. About halfway through, I crossed paths with a friend of mine, who was out for a run with a buddy. Both of us were travelling at intense speed in opposite directions, so we barely had time to exchange one-word greetings. Usually the only people that I cross paths with are dog walkers (in the morning) and other cyclists. I’ve noticed that the cycling commuters tend to be male, hideously ugly, frowny as all fuck out, and generally about as lively as the decomposing animal which I mentioned before. The non-commuting cyclists tend to be wearing skin-tight brightly coloured shit. Some wear reflective sunglasses, and pass you without acknowledging your presence, but the rest of them smile and say hello or g’day. I am always friendly, of course.

3. The last 1.5 miles (first 1.5 miles in the morning) goes through town. Cycling down the road at about 15mph, a black Merc pulled out of a side road a few metres in front of me. I pulled to a smooth stop by his door, my face betraying no emotion. In retrospect, my mind played through a few alternative scenarios, the most entertaining of which involved me leaping off of my bike, allowing it to crash into his car, smashing the window and denting the door. I would then insist that he then pays me £30 to replace my twisted bicycle. Silly scenario, off with you.

So there you have it. Three events, none of which would be interesting enough for a blog post on their own, but they combine like Power Rangers into something that is still not interesting enough to merit a blog post.

Ah, fuck it. Publish.