Woohoo! NaNoWriMo!

“Great,” thought the lonely mug tree, “just when I thought I’d got the measure of this kitchen, they go and mess it all up again.”

He paused.

“Fuck,” he added, to make sure that anyone reading his thoughts would garner the impression that he was mature enough to know how to swear, but not hoity toity enough not to. Plus, he wanted to court controversy, and secretly wanted his thoughts to be banned.

Just then, a very heavy lorry trundled down the small residential cul-de-sac, rattling the windows and agitating the neighbourhood pussycats. The mug tree was startled by the event, and found himself bounced millimetrewise closer to the edge of the formica.

“Oo-er” he observed. Though he needn’t have worried, for it would have taken dozens more lorries to push him close enough to the precipice for falling to be a possibility. This was almost certainly not going to happen. Or…

asterisk asterisk asterisk

Meanwhile, a poorly written piece of software on the other side of the world was busy trying to convert a novelist’s artistic use of punctuation into bullet points. The novelist, at this point, did the worst thing that he could have conceivably done in this situation, which was to select “Word Count” from the “Tools” menu. This revealed that he wasn’t even fractionally close to the 1,667 words that he would need to produce daily.

“Fuck this for a boatload of hamsters,” he typed, and abandoned [NaNoWriMo][], never to return. “Dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever had,” he continued, briefly entertaining the notion that if he swore enough, perhaps he could pad this baby out for a little while longer.

[nanowrimo]: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

He checked the word count again. Hmmmm… a creative solution is called for.

Fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish if you stare at it for long enough, and diverge your eyes slightly, you will see a shoal of little fishes swimming in the midst of this sea of text. Yes, really. Fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish.