The manilla jiffy bag! Gasp! It’s so fucking exciting!
I peeled the sellotape away. The jiffy bag tore a bit.
Oh, the bag opens wide to reveal my new Moleskine diary. I threw up in my mouth a little, but swallowed it back down.
The diary had come out of the envelope the wrong way up, so I had to turn it over.
The diary is wrapped in cellophane, which needs to be torn off. I did this really carefully so that I wouldn’t damage the diary itself in any way, shape or form. If I had damaged it, I probably would have gone crazy and had to kick a kitten or something to relieve my anguish.
I slowly teased off the coloured piece of paper that identifies the product. Here the diary is, completely naked. Reader, I’m not ashamed to admit that at this point I came in my pants.
After Karen goes to bed, I’m going to find some way of having sexual intercourse with this product.
11 replies on “Moleskine Unboxing”
Not sure what’s sadder.
This post, or the fact I read it.
Pervert. (you, not me)
(well, yeah me too normally, but not about this… that’s definitely you.)
I think that’s the best ‘unboxing’ post I’ve ever read. Certainly preferable to the ones on Engadget where they take some dull computer out of polystyrene.
Might I suggest, for your next trick, a series of ‘unbagging’ posts – perhaps of the weekly grocery? Or a new pair of jeans bought on the local high street?
P.S. Just a tip: you should never have sexual intercourse with anything covered in mole skin (sic).
We need more! what are you going to install on it first?!?
UW: Funny you should say that about an unbagging post for a bag of groceries. I had exactly the same idea.
Ade: Probably my name and address, and my son’s birthday. There’s even a space for my motorcycle registration number, so I think I need to install a motorcycle on my driveway first.
I’m alarmed that this is in the same category as Karen’s hearty winter stew. Do you want to copulate with a casserole?
Moleskine… mmmmm
I have a Moleskine notebook. It’s still blank. I just can’t think of anything worthy enough to write in it – and if it’s not worthy enough it’ll just sully it.
Somehow, that doesn’t seem wrong.
Man… That’s like, SO hot.
Graybo: That wasn’t creme fraiche.
Pewari: One of the problems with buying “posh” notebooks is the feeling that you have to find something suitable profound to write in it. Which is why this purchase is so perfect – it’s both a diary and notebook. The diary half keeps me grounded, but I still have the opportunity to shine on the facing page.
Yes – maybe I’ll have to get myself multiple Moleskines…
(bwahahaha)
I have multiple Moleskines.
She does, actually. Five of them, at last count.