AWEI by Craig Ward used with permission.
Waiting For Podot (groan)*
Karen has a pink iPod Mini, and it’s given us problems. Periodically, it will suffer from a major identity crisis, and believe that it is a fish. Or a banana. We’re not exactly sure what it thinks that it is, but it is definitely under the impression that it belongs to a species that does not possess the ability to play music.
This came on gradually. Initial symptoms were a kind of iPod amnesia, where it was still aware of its purpose in life, but it couldn’t remember any of the songs that it had been taught. We discovered an arcane magic spell that we could work on it, a kind of vulcan nerve pinch, that was the metaphorical cartoon sledgehammer required to remind it of its past.
This then degenerated into an iComa, where even long periods on a life support machine were insufficient to awaken it. No light came from its precious little screen. So we sent it back to Apple, the iGod, if you will.
It was returned a few days later. They said that there was nothing wrong with it. However, when I slapped it in the face to rouse it, the face that looked back at me was blank. Sure, it lived in the same body, but they had done something to the little fella to change it forever. Some demonic brainwash or the like. We painstakingly began the process of teaching it everything about the world all over again.
But it did not last. Only a few weeks have passed, and it is comatose once more. I await a response from the iGod. I grow iRate. It wasn’t mean to be this way.