Dragons Parenting

Dragons Don’t Count

It’s no secret that I am expecting to become a father at some point during this forthcoming summer, and very pleased about it I am too. Now you know what I was alluding to in points 25 and 28 when I indulged in [a certain meme][] a while ago.

[a certain meme]:

Parenthood-related anecdotes will surely skyrocket when the happy day arrives, but for the meantime we have choice examples such as the one which I am about to relate. I warn you in advance, it doesn’t have a punchline or any sort of satisfying payoff, so if you require such things in your literature I expect you to walk away now.

I’ve been dragged into [Mothercare][] once or twice. With a name like that, I was expecting it to be full of women breastfeeding proudly and unashamedly in the aisles, wailing babies, and prim women behind the counter with hair pulled back into tight buns, looking at me over their fine-rimmed spectacles with a demeanour that (my hypothetical psychic assistant would inform me) translates as *You have insufficient breasts. You may leave before I call security.*


Actually, it’s not so bad. It’s quite a welcoming place, and there are actually some reasonably decent clothes for kids – the kind of stuff that I might wear, were it a little larger. This is very reassuring, as I think that babies should not be dressed like babies, but like small people. As you will see.

On one rack were examples of baby-apparel-anathema. One-piece animal suits, so that you can dress your baby like a rabbit, or a cat, or a dog, or suchlike. I went off on the usual tirade about how despite being roughly the same size as a doll, it doesn’t meant that you should treat it like one etc etc. But then I stopped myself mid-rant, having spotted a bright green diminutive dragon suit.

*Of course, dragons don’t count,* I said, taking the suit off of the rack for a closer look. *Dragons and pirates are okay. Just not cats or rabbits etc.*

Karen related this story to my grandmother, and received the response *Ah yes, Pete always did like dragons.*

Apparently I always did like dragons. I have no recollection of this, but I’m sure that it’s true. After all, people don’t suddenly start liking dragons overnight. I expect that I always liked owls, penguins and pterodactyls too. And pirates, to an extent. Arrrr.

4 replies on “Dragons Don’t Count”

I once met Mopatop in Mothercare. We shared a lift & shook hands whilst my firstborn gazed up at him in awe. It was unexpectedly emotional. Mothercare rocks.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *