Ewan Food Guidance

Cook With Ewan – ManFood

cook with ewanYou are a man. You need food, and you want it now. Your hunger has reached gargantuan proportions, and you have about ten minutes before a very important television programme. Alternatively, you just want to get eating out of the way so that you can move onto more important things.

You need ManFood.

It’s fast and easy. It’s difficult to get wrong, because even when cooked to perfection, it is pretty much inedible. However, this doesn’t matter. You’re so hungry that the food won’t touch your tongue on the way down. You just need a balanced diet to last you through your gym session, and you need it fast.

Boil 5 minute pasta.

Pasta on the boil

Get green pepper, red tomato and pink ham out of fridge. Chop.

Fresh ingredients

Olive oil and paprika from cupboard. Cheese and oily basil from fridge.

Cupboard ingredients

Drain pasta. Everything in pan except cheese. Back on hob. Stir.

In the pan

Cut cheese.


Contents of pan into bowl. Cheese on top. Eat.

Voila. Oh my god it looks repulsive.

Try not to vomit.

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