> Dear Donkey,
> The new(ish) swearing function has finally destroyed my already fragile ego, thus sending me into a tragic spiral of self-loathing despair.
> While I’m lost in the depths of my own neurosis, do you have a map of the mind’s nether regions that I can borrow?
You can borrow my brain map, if you like:
Now, at first it might look a bit complicated, but allow me to walk you through it.
Section 1 is called the Frontal Lobe. That’s used for thinking about womens’ breasts. It’s pretty big, as you can see. And, as Ms. Brook is demonstrating over there on the right hand side, it varies in size during the course of the day.
Section 2 is called the Temporal Lobe. That’s used for getting angry. Like, if some guy in a bar is hitting on your girlfriend, then BOOM! Your temporal lobe kicks in, and you lay the smack down on him.
Section 3 is called the Parietal Lobe. You use that for thinking about how attractive your friends’ parents are.
Section 4 is the Occipital Lobe. That’s the bit that the surgeons squeeze when they need to knock you unconscious for any reason. That’s how the Vulcan Death Grip works.
Section 5 is the Cerebellum. The cerebellum does everything that the other bits don’t do. For example, thinking about pies and watching films.
I hope that this answers your questions, you fucking idiot. I mean, you’re lovely and cute and great and we all love you.