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I shall be making lots of sinister facial expressions, and shall seize every opportunity to say “I don’t think it is safe here – we are being watched” in a hushed and enigmatic tone.

This, hopefully, shall provide me with afternoon of rib-ticklingly hilarious entertainment, and perhaps it may bring a little sunshine into some other lives as well. Or I can laugh at the people who don’t realise that it is a joke.

“This watch – it is suitably robust that it will keep working if I get thrown off of a cliff into shark-infested seas?”

“I don’t know, sir. Possibly.”

“Ahh. Schplendid.”

You get the picture.

I remembered what winter is like this morning.

I have a tendency to get very comfortable in a season, and by the end of summer I have usually forgotten what winter feels like.

But it came to me this morning in one go. It wasn’t the fact that it was a little chilly, and it didn’t even come to me when I was staring absent-mindedly out of the kitchen window, but when I opened my bedroom curtains to see the condensation on the windows and the frozen blue sky, it all came back in one big parcel.

I remembered how many clothes you have to put on, and yet you are still cold. The temperature gradient between being in bed and being out of bed. The deathly and emotionless, yet oft-lauded appearance of a frosted lawn. The demisting of car windscreens.

But first we have the leaves turning golden and falling off of the trees to go, and it has begun already. The skeletal, yet still living, forms of the bare trees. That’s reassuring at least.

Life goes on. Give it up for DNA.

Purple is a colour that occurs as a result of high frequency electromagnetic waves being absorbed by the retina in the eye.

It’s also what you get if you mix red and blue, and is one of the more homosexual colours available.

Famous purple things are: Deep Purple (the band), Purple Haze (the song), purple towels, violets (the flower), parma violets (the small crunchy sweet, purchased in a cylindrical tower wrapped in plastic), and it is also the sort of colour you see a lot on a moonlit night.

*Originally posted [here][]*

[here]: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A207208