My problem is that I am bad at keeping plants alive.
In my flat, I generally find that cut flowers outlast a pot plant. This is something that gives me a lot of grief. Why am I so bad at telling when soil is wet or dry? It makes no sense.
And then tonight it came to me. I’m not really actually bad at looking after pot plants. It’s all really to do with my low boredom threshold.
Y’see, I don’t want the same foliage to exist in my flat for more than a week. I want it to change. So the only way to ensure this is to kill it. Murder. Assassination.
Die, plants. Die.