Anecdotal Warning About Hitch-hikers

*The sun had long since set, I was driving over a bridge,
She suddenly came into view, her thumb up for a lift.
I brought the car to a sudden halt, from behind I heard a beep,
And just one minute later she was in the passenger seat.*

*I’d offered her a lift, as previously stated,
As her direction and my own approximately correlated.
Two minutes down the road, things went a bit downhill,
When she produced a hefty knife, and this made me feel quite ill.*

*Now I am in pieces and not in the metaphorical sense,
She’s kept my hand as a souvenir and chucked the rest over a fence
And my car is in a canyon in a very remote place
And my girlfriend will be worried because I’m not usually late.*

*There’s a rat or mouse chewing on my ear, it tickles quite a bit.
Well, it would if I were still alive, right now I can’t feel shit.
I can’t hear any traffic, and it looks like it might snow.
Despite what you might think, it wasn’t such a bad way to go.*