I’ve realised one of the things that makes me what I am today.
I grew up in an environment where I believed that I was truly great. Perhaps not at sports, or in common social situations, but I believed that I was one of the most intelligent people that I knew. I got good results at school, and my parents where always telling me how wonderful I was.
As I got older, I started to spend more time with people who were smarter than me. First off, I went to University. Admittedly I came away with a first-class degree, so in that respect I must have been smarter than half of the people on my course, but already there’s clearly a shift occurring.
A year after graduating, I began my career in earnest. Since then I have worked alongside some very intelligent people, by whose presence I feel honestly daunted, despite the fact that I know that if you consider all aspects of them, not just their intelligence, they are no greater than I. I also read a lot of articles online by some very smart people, who are clearly experts in their field.
When all this is combined, I feel that there is not much space left for me. As a result of global connectivity, I feel that I am always a mouse click away from someone whose insight on a subject exceeds my own. Despite the fact that I am foolishly attempting to compete with the whole world here, I find myself feeling surplus to requirements. I want to write informative articles on this site, but I know that someone, somewhere, has already done it, with a great deal more knowledge and clarity than I could achieve.
So I no longer feel like a great person. I have surrounded myself with excellent people, and I look weak by comparison. I’m still trying to come to terms with this.