Bernard is one year old, and the approved method of descending the stairs is for him to crawl down backwards, whilst I stay a few steps below him.
On a couple of occasions, he has reached the penultimate step with the mistaken belief that he has reached the bottom. Probably distracted by some exciting item that he is eager to get to.
At this point, he turns around and starts to walk/spring away, completely oblivious to the fact that his next step will take him over a lurking six inch precipice. I do what I can to catch him, but when this occurs at 6:30 in the morning, I have the reflexes of a remarkably sluggish pat of butter.
The poor little guy is somewhat surprised at this point, and may wail a tad, but no permanent harm is done, and within minutes we are happily playing as if nothing had happened.
The reason why I have related this anecdote is that two nights ago, I did exactly the same thing. Well, not quite exactly. I was walking down the stairs in the conventional manner, and the lights were off (because it was late at night and I did not want to disturb “her upstairs”). I miscalculated, and down I went.
No serious injury was suffered, though my left food did come down in a slightly awkward way, and a certain discomfort was felt in my second toe. Not painful enough to be a break, maybe some kind of stretched muscle. I limped throughout the day yesterday, but this morning I was back to full health.
I’ve had a slightly farcical few days actually. As well as the tumble two days ago, I spilled a mug of tea yesterday. I was putting it down on a colleague’s desk, and as I pulled my hand away, my finger must have still been engaged in the handle. Some tea spilled on his desk, and the rest fell to the floor, where the mug broke. I was quick enough to announce “shit” before it hit the ground, but not quick enough to catch it in any way.
No tea landed on my colleague, which was somewhat of a relief. The puddle did lap at the base of his keyboard, mouse, and telephone, but no permanent damage seems to have been done.
As I was clearing up the broken mug, I stabbed myself in the left index finger. Not a serious injury, but enough to give me a mild discomfort whenever I try to use that finger for typing etc.
Additionally, Karen has an impressive spot growing at the base of her spine. I think she’s going to let me pop it for her when it is ripe, but I’m not allowed to take photos. I might have to set up a secret camera to record the footage.
So yeah, we’re not at peak physical condition right now.