If you are Anna, you may want to consider yourself warned that this post may upset you. However, I know how inquisitive you are, and you’re going to read it anyway despite my warning, which is fair enough.
My latest mission puts me in the shoes of an *elite assassin*, or at least an *elite tracker*. An elite something, anyway. My task is to find and apprehend a small scampery foreign spy, who we believe has been deploying advanced foreign surveillance technology in our garage. Our scientists are hard at work analysing this high-tech gadgetry, which has been disguised to look like mouse poo.
The boys at the lab have come up with some very fancy cutting-edge equipment to locate and apprehend this villainous foe, including some things with lasers, some remote control thingys, a few explosive doodads and a magnetic whatchamacallit or two. For now, I have deployed a humane mouse trap with a proven record of being absolutely useless. My intention is to attempt negotiation, mutual understanding, and perhaps come to some sort of compromise that involves me getting exactly what I want. If this fails, I shall arrange for the scumbag to be kidnapped and dumped in a far-off and remote location, possibly the church yard round the corner.
We believe that we have narrowed down the spy’s hideout to two possible locations. It is only a matter of time until he makes a mistake, and when he does, we shall be there to catch him.
**UPDATIUM:** He’s onto us. Since deploying the traps, our quarry seems to have voluntarily left the vicinity. On his part, a very wise move. We shall monitor for signs of his return.
7 replies on “Right-click, Delete”
Oh. Well, just chop his head off. It’s quicker and gives a more equivocal message.
Sometimes when you take them out in those traps they think they are orienteering and find their way back, with friends.
Other times they just sit in the humane traps until they die of hunger because you are too scared to let them out again.
Head-chopping-off is better all round.
In all sorts of situations really, not just this one.
Wasn’t there some kind of sonic device you could use that emits a harmless sound that just makes the mouses leave and never want to come back again ?
Oh, and I do know that the correct plural of mouse is mice, btw. I just prefer to be wrong.
**Anna:** Now, now. I agree that we need an arrangement whereby the mouse does not return, but I’m afraid that I don’t share your desire to make the arrangement as gruesome and traumatic as possible.
**Pam:** The problem with the sonic mouse device is that it will just displace our rodentulous friend to the neighbour’s house. In fact, it’s plausible that this is how it came to be in my garage in the first place. Either way. my plan is to take the mouse to the churchyard and hope that he discovers religion.
@Pam: That sonic thing might be a stereo in conjunction with a Spice Girls CD 🙂
Maybe thats what the neighbours did. Pete is right, recprocrating might create an escalation of terror….
Peet, it is neither ‘gruesome’ nor traumatic. It is what they prefer. Honestly. I asked them.
Straight from the horse’s mouse, as it were…