{"id":91,"date":"2006-01-24T15:16:50","date_gmt":"2006-01-24T15:16:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pete.nu\/blog\/?p=91"},"modified":"2006-11-09T17:09:59","modified_gmt":"2006-11-09T17:09:59","slug":"opal-fruit-or-terrorist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/2006\/01\/24\/opal-fruit-or-terrorist\/","title":{"rendered":"Opal Fruit… or Terrorist?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I unwrapped the green Opal Fruit<\/a> and tossed it lightly into my mouth, assuming that this would be an Opal Fruit like any other Opal Fruit.<\/p>\n

\"OpalIn my complacency, I allowed my attention to wander to other tasks. This turned out to be my greatest of errors, for the Opal Fruit moved around in my mouth in a non-obvious fashion, exploiting my moment of least concentration to make a dive for the left cheek as the teeth came down.<\/p>\n

Searing pain. My hand shot to my mouth. I left the room abruptly, aiming for the bathroom, where I could suffer my ordeal in sweet sweet solitude.<\/p>\n

I spat into the basin. Blood<\/font>.<\/p>\n

I had bitten my tongue and made it bleed.<\/p>\n

Being away from my desk, I didn’t instantly have Google to hand, so I had to improvise the treatment for a bleeding tongue. I applied some pressure with a clean forefinger, and when the flow had been staunched, I used cold water to wash my mouth out and remove the excess.<\/p>\n

The pain eventually dulled to an irritating ache, and 24 hours (or so) later, I’m starting to feel a bit more human again. No segments of tongue were permanently lost, and I have faith that I will make a full physical recovery.<\/p>\n

However, my ordeal still haunts me, and the Opal Fruits taunt me, and a flaunty thing flaunts me. A strawberry flavoured Opal Fruit sits, unwrapped, on my table top, beckoning me with its soft curves.<\/p>\n

“Hey there,”<\/i> she says, “Do you think you can handle me?”<\/i><\/p>\n

I jibber and jabber back incoherently.<\/p>\n

“I know what you are thinking,”<\/i> she says, “If I succumb to her fruity wiles, will I be vulnerable to that pain all over again?”<\/i><\/p>\n

I splutter and clutter.<\/p>\n

“Oh, you silly boy,”<\/i> she laughs, tossing her hair and fluttering her eyebrows, purring seductively from somewhere deep in her throat, “I don’t bite.”<\/i> She laughs at how incredibly fucking witty she is.<\/p>\n

Incensed by her cockiness, I toss her lightly into my mouth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I unwrapped the green Opal Fruit and tossed it lightly into my mouth, assuming that this would be an Opal Fruit like any other Opal Fruit. In my complacency, I allowed my attention to wander to other tasks. This turned out to be my greatest of errors, for the Opal Fruit moved around in my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,14,7,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-iamowim","category-peril","category-photos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}