{"id":66,"date":"2003-05-13T09:10:25","date_gmt":"2003-05-13T08:10:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pete.nu\/blog\/?p=66"},"modified":"2006-12-05T15:14:29","modified_gmt":"2006-12-05T15:14:29","slug":"toothpaste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/2003\/05\/13\/toothpaste\/","title":{"rendered":"Toothpaste?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In order to avoid an embarrassment similar to yesterday, I was ultra-special-uber-careful to have a nice clean, smooth shave this morning.<\/p>\n<p>Feeling invincible on my way out, I leant into the bathroom to wish the chick a good day, where I found her brushing her teeth. Some toothpaste was dribbling seductively out of her mouth, so I picked a bit up on my finger and licked it sexily with my poutiest eyes.<\/p>\n<p>My first thought was &#8220;Hmmmm. Toothpaste manufacturers seem to be bucking the trend of loading their wares up with oodles of mint, as this one doesn&#8217;t taste very minty at all.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Thought two was &#8220;Actually, there&#8217;s not even a hint of mint.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My third thought, the one entitled &#8220;This isn&#8217;t toothpaste at all, is it?&#8221; was duly externalised through my mouth.<\/p>\n<p>She shook her head, rubbed in the rest of her moisturising cream, and continued to brush her teeth.<\/p>\n<p>Halfway up the street I barfed all over a toad ((not really)).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In order to avoid an embarrassment similar to yesterday, I was ultra-special-uber-careful to have a nice clean, smooth shave this morning. Feeling invincible on my way out, I leant into the bathroom to wish the chick a good day, where I found her brushing her teeth. Some toothpaste was dribbling seductively out of her mouth, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-66","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-meander"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=66"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=66"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=66"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=66"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}