{"id":23,"date":"2002-09-27T09:21:25","date_gmt":"2002-09-27T08:21:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pete.nu\/blog\/?p=23"},"modified":"2007-12-08T08:23:32","modified_gmt":"2007-12-08T08:23:32","slug":"it-was-a-slapstick-morning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/2002\/09\/27\/it-was-a-slapstick-morning\/","title":{"rendered":"It was a slapstick morning"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whilst holding an IM conversation, I totally forgot about my toast. My toaster has a fantastic feature, whereby if you use the “defrost and toast” routine, it totally neglects to turn itself off after however long you specify. I wonder whether this was a deliberate addition to its specification.<\/p>\n

The byproduct of this neglect can be seen in figure 1:<\/p>\n

\"Burnt
\n*Fig. 1*<\/p>\n

…and, for that matter, in figure 2:<\/p>\n

\"Smoky
\n*Fig. 2*<\/p>\n

After crawling around my kitchen on my hands and knees, and finally getting all the windows open and every extractor fan turned on, I resigned myself to going back to bed to read another chapter of [The Straw Men][] by Michael Marshall Smith.<\/p>\n

[the straw men]: http:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/0006499988\/<\/p>\n

Half an hour later the doorbell buzzed. I picked up the intercom, thinking that it was going to be some helpful and concerned neighbour telling me that there was smoke pouring out of my windows.<\/p>\n

“Hello?”<\/p>\n

*”Parcel.”*<\/p>\n

“Come on up.”<\/p>\n

I then struggled to get into my dressing gown. Well, my left arm found the sleeve normally occupied by my right arm. Hilarity ensued as I attempted to fashion a sarong out of the asymmetrically distributed fabric. I opened the door looking like David Beckham, only probably a lot less presentable (and I never thought that I would be able to say that).<\/p>\n

I took the parcel, signed for it, and returned back into my flat.<\/p>\n

And stubbed my toe on *everything*.<\/p>\n

Uh, that’s it. But what more could you want?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whilst holding an IM conversation, I totally forgot about my toast. My toaster has a fantastic feature, whereby if you use the “defrost and toast” routine, it totally neglects to turn itself off after however long you specify. I wonder whether this was a deliberate addition to its specification. The byproduct of this neglect can […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[94,130,129,127,128],"class_list":["post-23","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","tag-beckham","tag-dressing-gown","tag-michael-marshall-smith","tag-toast","tag-toaster"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}