I received a letter from my bank yesterday. They send me lots of letters, often containing leaflets with changes to my terms and conditions. These leaflets are too dull to read, which I am sure is intentional. By now, I wouldn’t be surprised if my bank have a legal claim to my left testicle under the terms and conditions of my current account.<\/p>\n
Leaflet extract here we go:<\/p>\n
> We have recently completed a review of the features and benefits we provide to our customers. Following this review, we have made two changes to the services we provide you.<\/p>\n
> **We will no longer be offering you Airmiles**<\/p>\n
> […]<\/p>\n
> For more information, please see ‘Your Questions Answered’ overleaf.<\/p>\n
I briefly paused, to prepare my questions. *Are you, or are you not, utterly selfish bastards?* was one, and *Did some focus group tell you that your customers wished for less from their credit card account?* and *Is this personal, or is this some big fuck you to all your current customers?*<\/p>\n
I turned over. These are the questions that they had anticipated:<\/p>\n
1. **What do I have to do?** *Well, duh – stand still while we take the piss. Not hard, is it?*
\n2. **When does the change take effect?** *Check your Terms and Conditions – we’ve backdated it by three years. Hahahahahah.*
\n3. **Do I lose the Airmiles I have collected with my Card?** *Well, if you consult your Terms and Conditions, you’ll see that we’re doing you a great favour by allowing you to hold onto them. Yes, you may touch me.*
\n4. **Will I still hold an AIRMILES account?** *Why the hell did you just capitalise that, all of a sudden? Never mind, uh, yeah, for what it’s worth. Like you care.*
\n5. **Where can I continue to collect Airmiles?** *Up your bum, second shelf on the right.*<\/p>\n
Oh, but wait. It gets better. In the post this morning, an oversized yellow envelope. I unwrap it…<\/p>\n
> **We’ve made some great changes to AIRMILES.**<\/p>\n
> Welcome to the new-look AIRMILES. As you’ll see, we’ve made quite a few changes.<\/p>\n
You can’t make this shit up.<\/p>\n
Ironically enough, my balance of 550 airmiles is just about enough to get me a return flight to Budapest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I received a letter from my bank yesterday. They send me lots of letters, often containing leaflets with changes to my terms and conditions. These leaflets are too dull to read, which I am sure is intentional. By now, I wouldn’t be surprised if my bank have a legal claim to my left testicle under […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-displeasure"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=216"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}