Howdy there, pardners.<\/p>\n
Seeing as y’all did such a dang good job of myoo-tilatin’ that thar English lang-yoo-age, we’re a-gonna implement a few more li’l changes in the style of them that we’ve already done.<\/p>\n
###Seasons<\/p>\n
Since no-one seemed to bat an eyelid with the whole *Fall* thing, we’re gonna proceed with the original plan. As of now, you’ll refer to the other three seasons as *Snow*, *Flowers* and *Sun*. Yeeha.<\/p>\n
###Clothing<\/p>\n
Having done the whole *Pants* thing, I feel we’ve got to keep them thar dang British English speakers on their toes, y’hear? As of now, you’ll obey the following:<\/p>\n
1. A *shirt* is now that thing that you wear on your feet to keep your toes warm.
\n2. A *bracelet* is one of those things that you punch through your earlobe to make you look purdy.
\n3. A *cummerbund* is that thing what motorcyclists wear to stop their brains getting all smashed up when they hit the ass-phalt.
\n4. A *shoe* is that little strip of floss what strippers wear to make themselves look purdy.<\/p>\n
Failing to observe the above will mean you are un-American. You ain’t un-American, are you, pardner? No, I thought as not. Yeeha.<\/p>\n
###U<\/p>\n
Despite some initial resistance, we’ve succeeded in sneaking those pesky letter ‘u’ characters out of such words as *color*, *honor* and *flavor*. However, we’ve now got a big pile of ‘u’ characters stored up in a warehouse in Detroit, and they’re starting to smell strange. To clear the stockpile, we’ve gotta put them back in. To speed up the process, we recommend y’all throw in a few extras too. So, you can spell it *coluour*, *coluuuuuour* or *ucuuuuuoluuuuuuuouuuuur* – all these will be accepted. Yeeha.<\/p>\n
###Stores<\/p>\n
Continuing the vein of naming places after what they sell (I mean, what in the hell is a pharmacy supposed to be? Sheeat.) we’re a-gonna do some more of that there changing. So a bank is now a moneystore, a theatre is an actorstore, a butcher is a meatstore, and a train station is now a trainridestore.<\/p>\n
Yeeha.<\/p>\n
*Disclaimer: some of my best friends are American. And yes, I’m aware of the fact that [Americans didn’t invent Fall](http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Autumn#Autumn_versus_Fall)*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Howdy there, pardners. Seeing as y’all did such a dang good job of myoo-tilatin’ that thar English lang-yoo-age, we’re a-gonna implement a few more li’l changes in the style of them that we’ve already done. ###Seasons Since no-one seemed to bat an eyelid with the whole *Fall* thing, we’re gonna proceed with the original plan. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[539,48,538,537],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-displeasure","tag-americans","tag-autumn","tag-cummerbund","tag-language"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1114,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions\/1114"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pete.nu\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}